fuzzy wuzzy wuz my mummy

Warning 1: This is one of those self indulgent ‘things-kids-say/I-have-the-cutest -kids -in- the- world’ type post, and completely off-topic.

Warning 2: This is especially for Mary Anne and any other weak-bladdered coffee-thru-nose snorters/chokers. In my defence – It is actually funny – the last one is anyway. Well the woman next to me thought so.

 

What is?

One of the boys favourite games with Moo is ‘What is’. The will ask her questions, and she tells them what she thinks. It is amusing and interesting to hear how self centred (in the nicest possible way) a 4 year old view of the world is. The boys at 7 and 9 have a much wider world view and a more adult (less wonder-full) idea of things. Some examples:

What is a tree? Trees is for climbing

What is a flower? Flowers is for picking.

What is Mamma? Mamma is for sewing (!)

What is a city? cities is for daddies to go to work in

What is your head? For having your face on.

What is your nose? For picking boogers out of (’No! That’s yucky’ I interject) and a few days later Tom (of course it’s Tom) comes up with:

What is a booger? For NOT picking out of your nose. Lesson learned…sort of.

 

Sex talk

Everyone has the sex talk stories, and let me just say at the outset that I am pretty straightforward about using the proper terms etc. However I do only tell them what they ask about and I try to keep it age appropriate. Moo has been walking around with her stomach stuck out telling everyone she has a baby in her tummy. Of course she has been asking questions, and I have been answering, with just enough information to keep her happy without confusing matters. (Tom now calls his testicles sperm whales, however I don’t think he is confused, just a fool).

But not quite enough information apparently. A while back she decided to resume our breakfast conversation in the queue at the supermarket. In that loud carrying voice that only a three year old girl can manage: ‘ Mamma – how did daddy put the seed in your tummy?’ sigh. When I told her later about the real purpose of a penis (ie not for swinging around like a helicopter and for weeing all over the toilet seat –her brothers, not Matt), she looked at me as if I were crazy and said ‘eeewwww’ and hasn’t mentioned babies since.

 

fuzzy wuzzy wuz my mummy

Recently we were in the public toilets at the shops where Moo and I always cram into the same cubicle with all the shopping. She has a bladder the size on an ant, and invariably needs to go just at the most difficult point of the shopping trip, which she usually announces by saying ‘I’m going to wet my pants’. Anyway…she’d done the deed, and I thought I’d take advantage of the conveniences myself. Just as I stood up to pull up my jeans she says in her loud voice:

‘You’ve got a very fat tummy mamma’.

‘Yes Moo’ through gritted teeth and then she says, with the pitch of her voice rising with the incredulous disbelief ‘…….and you’ve got a FURRY BOTTOM’.

I think the woman in the next cubicle was glad she was sitting on the toilet.